Scary Robots & Simulated Privacy - ooo Baby

"Nothing gets a woman in your arms faster than scary robots and simulated privacy."

- Homer Simpson

Songs of Love

Have you ever noticed that when you are in the throws of getting into or out of a relationship, 95% of the songs you hear are about love? It's really frustrating if you're trying to get the 'third party' off your mind.

As I was walking home from work today I kept having to skip songs on my ipod to find something without a love theme. Then, just as I was rounding the corner to the train station I came across a couple kissing on the side walk - I thought god damn what is this an Alley McBeal episode? I have never seen anyone kissing on that side street in my entire life!

Ok yes I think you do tend to read into situations more when you are in that head space but sometimes it really is totally uncanny....

I finished my Monday watching Battle of the Choirs when the words of this heart wrenching Cold Play song, Fix You was enough to tip me over the edge.....

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth.......

Extraordinary

If you want to live an extraordinary life you have to do extraordinary things.

Self-fulfilling Prophecies

Ok so I've written about getting your ducks in a row, I've written about the true one night stand and I've written about that awful in between stage of not knowing what to say or when to ring.

I guess I haven't really written about love yet though and all the ridiculous stuff we do to either consciously or subconsciously avoid it. We all have patterns around our behaviour - the trick is to work out what they are and then how to avoid getting stuck in these same patterns, doing the same things over and over again. See there I go already getting off the topic of love again....

Here's my current theory for my 'love pattern'..

I hate getting being stuck in between the just friend or does he like me more, or just sex or is this going somewhere stage. I lost a male friend, really close buddy when I was younger because that whole cross over stage went ass up. I really blamed myself for that, I thought how stupid of me, I lost a lifelong friend because I thought I was in love with him.

I think perhaps from that experience I therefore thought - shit I'm crap at this, I'm going to ruin any sort of relationship when it gets to that stage and since then I pretty much have.

If you have a big enough racket about something, you are bound to self fulfil your own prophecy.

You know it's cold when....

You know it's cold when you pour yourself a cold drink from the fridge, forget that it's there for 3 hours and then come back to it to find that it's still cold!

Murphys Law of Dating

In this day and age there is no real dating 'standard' to adhere to. It's just all a matter of opinion - some say don't sleep with a new potential until the third date, some say the third month, other say if it feels right just do it whenever. Then... once you do head down that path, was it just sex, or did it seem like it was actually making love? Not exactly a subject you broach at date four. You just mull it over and over in your head until you are forced to go to the gym and run on a treadmill for 30 minutes to clear your head.

So when you do get to that stage of hmm is it just sex and a few dates or is it a possible blossoming relationship - what on earth is the next step? Do you risk him doing a runner by trying to broach the subject upfront. Do you wait until you both are tipsy on a bottle of wine and bring it up as a underhanded joke?

It almost seems like, if you are too eager to take a relationship to that next stage, then you kill off the possibility of that level of intimacy by freaking the other party out.

So therefore is it only when you are not craving that level of intimacy that it is possible to obtain it? That almost sounds a bit Buddhist to me (in a bizarre way) - ie it is only when you realise that you are an idiot that you become wise etc etc...

Treeboards

"I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree.
Perhaps, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all."

- Ogden Nash
Poet (1902 - 1971)

Craughing

There have been several occasions in the last week or so that I've caught myself crying and laughing at the same time. No seriously - fully crying and laughing my ass off a the exact same time. It really is possible - it's a bizarre experience. After recovering from my last 'episode' I was trying to think of a name for it - and voila craughing came to mind. It appears however that someone as brilliant as myself thought this up a long time ago - see reference on the Urban Dictionary website. Although unlike their definition I've never had someone around to "make them laugh and they start craughing" - i didz it all on my ownsome.

It also then occurred to me that those old school online acronyms LOL would become COL and ROFL, ROFC. Yes I know - my mind wanders at times.....

Generally I tend to 'craugh' if you will, when I've been thinking of something I've done or said - and fortunately or unfortunately depending on your glass full/empty point of view I've done a fair few things lately that are absolutely hilarious in retrospect but in a weird tear jerky way. And yes - they are all worth a whole post in their own right but even as an anonymous blogger I'm still hestiantly conservative about what I put up on here... but hopefully not for long!